1) Eating out is a lesson in futility.
Rejoice! Many restaurants now have Gluten Free Menus!
Spit Bullets! Those Gluten Free Menus feature Road Kill on a Salad!
Healthy? Well, only if you aren't a Diabetic, Hypo-glycemic, Vegan, or Vegetarian. Its funny how so many people (its not just the restaurants, folks!) think that you can only have 1 thing you can't eat. If you are Celiac, then you can't be Vegetarian. If you are Vegan, then you can't be Celiac. And, regardless, you can always eat road kill because you can't be allergic to it and even Vegans should be able to eat animal once in while. Why and how can people be so ignorant? Vegans and Vegetarians should be allowed a healthy, well-balanced meal that suites their diet, period. They should no more be required to eat road kill, then hunters should be required to eat Soy. Celiacs come from all walks of life, come in all sizes, come in all forms of eating sensitivities and allergies, and food preferences, and can have any number of other ailments.
2) Under trained staff leads to cross-contamination.
Often times, if the menu brags GF is simply their normal meals without the bun, then you can rest assured that the staff may not know what GF is. Some people actually react to meats because of the wheat in the feed that cattle eat. This makes even more people eat Vegetarian due to no choice, even though they love meats and chicken. With such a sketchy menu, even more Celiacs are going to have fun trying to find anything that not even keeps their blood sugars stable, but doesn't make them sick.
Add to all this, the kitchen staff often forget, and use the same utensil for another's food, on your food, or they forget your plate is GF, put gluten item on it, then remember, take the GF item off, without getting you a new plate. Pizza places may cut your pizza with the same tool used to cut the other pizzas. I still can't figure out how I've never gotten sick at pizza places, as I'm extremely sensitive to meats. We might have trained the one Pizza place I used to go to, but I'm not sure as I can't eat there anymore, due to Celiac. As far as the bun you can't eat? Often its the waitress or waiter who mistakenly puts it on the plate. They are also to blame when the kitchen doesn't know you have Celiac disease, as not all waiters/waitresses understand that just because you ordered this naturally GF meal, the kitchen staff must be told its a Gluten allergy. There are GF cards we can spend lots of money on buying that is supposed to help the staff. I really do need to make my own cards, because I have more sensitivities then just gluten, and would benefit. Most people think I can do well to eat Asian or Indian at a restaurant. However, cinnamon allergy takes care of that one quite soundly. I can't risk a cross-contamination, as I do not carry a Epi-Pen yet. I find that many Indian restaurants aren't willing to accomodate onion free. I've never bothered with cinnamon free, once my doctor told me that my symptoms were getting to the point where anaphylaxis shock is quite likely.
3) Too many Food Allergies and Sensitivities for them to accommodate you.
Its one thing to get something that is only gluten free, but its totally another to get something that is free of onion, animal, and dairy too. Try eating Vegan and not having a Soy option, but needing carbs? What if you are diabetic or hypo-glycemic, Vegetarian and GF? If you are fortunate to have Orange Juice help you, then a Salad might work for you. My body prefers a complex carb of some kind. GF, complex Carbs and restaurants while Vegetarian don't mix very well, especially if you can't have cinnamon. Not everyone carries tofu, Brown Rice noodles, or even plain rice. Fortunately, fish does stay down, so I will often substitute GF fish and a salad. I can only do this for 1 meal though, and must eat 'real food' for my next meal, or my blood sugar crashes. No, I do not digest proteins very well unless they are of a Vegan variety. Solution? Carry a card that was specifically made for your unique diet. Kitchen staff will thank you for it, and if you eat there often, they'll probably want to keep the card. Its well worth the effort to visit the restaurant and talk with staff and review the menu before committing to eating there. One evening (before the Celiac diagnosis), my friend and I went to 3 different restaurants before we found one who would make me vegetarian, onion free food. The fish option came with rice pilaf loaded with chicken and onions. We were trying to hit places that served pasta at that time.
4) The Infamous Peanut Gallery...Otherwise known as the no-do-gooders.
Its often been said, if I had a penny, or a pfennig or whatever for everytime someone said something stupid to me, I'd be rich! Well, its even harder when the stupid stuff is being yelled at you by your own parents...your own flesh and blood, who should know better. Its also harder if you have mental illness because often such a diagnosis often results in you being treated like a big fat liar in everything you say or do. Don't believe me? Then you don't have mental illness, or you live in an environment I can only envy. Unfortunately not everyone lives in a supportive environment, but there is hope and help. The easiest way to deal with the peanut gallery is simply ask them to sit down with your doctors and hash out what really ails you, what diagnoses you really have, and what side effects you may exhibit. If you have a doubting Thomas as part of the peanut gallery, I feel for you. I've dealt with such a person most of my life. Unfortunately, if the doctor can't reach them, then you are out of luck. Just simply set your boundaries, and if they violate them, you simply leave or hang up. There is nothing more you can do unless you are in to prayer.
Peanut gallery, what if you do not stop the negative criticism and arguing with a GF victim? You could cause them to be suicidal. I've been suicidal on and off for years, largely because I had no support at home. I was so tired of the verbal abuse, so tired of being snubbed by people, of not having much friends I can do anything with, of not being able to get a boyfriend due to my food allergies, that I wanted to end it all and go to heaven where at least one person gave a rip. However, because I believe in Y'Shua, and believe He lives, I have a hard time justifying suicide, as it would not be living like He would. I also will take PRN meds, when needed, if I feel like I'm really going to go nuts. I tend to run manic, so usually depression isn't a problem. However, even I can take so much verbal abuse before I just want to deck someone. I'll just leave and take a time out, or take extra meds if necessary.
5) Diarrhea or Constipation is thought to be a mandatory side effect of being GF.
This is only true for those who abhor a healthy diet, i.e. avoids salads and beans at all cost. Usually, you are told that constipation will be an issue by doctors and dieticians who is pro-animal and not familiar with Vegetarian and Vegan eating. If you eat corn, that's fiber. However, the best source of fiber is really from a wide variety of raw vegetables and fruits. Even if the only lettuce you can eat is Head lettuce or Romaine, that is a big help. Beans are worth learning how to eat without all the extra sugar and fat. Punjabi or Indian cooking is a huge benefit in making beans tasty. Diabetics would be wise to eat Vegan. My recipe
6) Your own family refuses to listen to your concerns about a particular restaurant, or worse, insists that you should just make do. A little bit isn't going to kill you.
No Celiac should have to go through this! Unfortunately, dysfunctional families are a dime a dozen. I feel like if they can't kill you verbally, then they'll try to kill you physically. This, however, is not the truth. Actually, anyone who says a little bit won't kill you does NOT understand how lethal Celiac disease and other food allergies can be. Also, they are afraid of the truth. Not only are they afraid that they might "catch it", but also afraid that if you die, they will be blamed. So, they go into denial. I'm fine with it if its a casual friend, but when its my own parents, its living hell! Its not like I can divorce them, or cut off ties or anything. I'm still related to them whether I like it or not. However, their is good news! If you go into a full blown anaphylactic shock and land in the hospital for 3 days, they will start taking you seriously! I'm told this by others. :D
I know what its like to be not listened too. If I discuss a restaurant and GF issues, I get a snotty, "Why are you telling me this?" Its not really my parents fault when I get such a response. They are only acting exactly like society has taught them. Unfortunately, even the church teaches by their actions not to accommodate others. How many believers do you know learned sign language just so they could communicate with the odd hearing impaired person that might happen their way? How many people do you know came up to a potential date, found out about the food sensitivities/allergies, and said "I'd like to date you anyways?" Society teaches selfishness. We live in a 'give it to me now' society. This attitude only reinforces snotty, self-righteous attitudes towards other who have the audacity to have GF or other issues. No I don't expect anyone else to help me with my GF issues. However, it would be nice to be able to sit down with my parents and say, "Look, I found out that this restaurant had bad reviews, and just isn't safe for Celiacs." I would love to be able to discuss my life and concerns with my parents. That just isn't going to happen at this time.
UPDATE: Getting an Epi-pen has helped a little! My dad is beginning to take my diet more seriously, especially after I told him that we argued with the doctor that I did NOT need an Epi-pen. I knew I needed one, its just that its easier for me to stay alive if I avoid the hospital at all cost. They still can't get my diet right! :P However, a look on the bright side, I get to see Y'Shua faster! :D ;)
7) Dating is a lesson in rejection worse then trying to get a book published.
I've been rejected so much only because I can't eat "Pig", that I've started calling such people 'Sika'. Sika is a Finnish word that means "dirty pig". No, I don't expect the person I marry to eat exactly like me, but it would be nice to be able to kiss them on the lips without throwing up. Mellow dramatic? Its my reality. When you have lived for as long as I have, and seen everyone getting what they want, but you were always the forgotten one, the one left behind, the one who couldn't have due to allergies, you will become picky. You will want 1 thing that you can have and that no one can take away from you. That one thing I wanted was to be able to do something simple as to kiss the guy I love. I was told I should "just be happy I marry at all". Or, "why should you bother wanting to marry? Marriage only ends up in divorce anyways." Sorry folks! But this is verbal abuse! UPDATE: More recently I was told (paraphrasing badly! Sorry!), "You should just kiss him when you can, and be fine on days when you can't! I did this and it works for me." WARNING! A VERY WELL DOCUMENTED CASE OF A GIRLFRIEND DYING BECAUSE SEVERAL HOURS EARLIER, HER BOYFRIEND ATE SOMETHING SHE WAS ALLERGIC TOO, THEN KISSED HER! DO NOT EVER KISS SOMEONE WHO HAS ATE SOMETHING YOU ARE EXTREMELY ALLERGIC TOO WITHOUT YOUR DOCTOR OKAYING IT FIRST! EVEN THEN, I DO NOT RECOMMEND IT, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE ANAPHYLACTIC BY SMELL OR VERY ALLERGIC AS THIS CAN KILL YOU!!! I might have to settle for less! I'm not worthy enough for society to make accommodations that the government does mandate in law! Is it really too much to ask to be able to marry someone who actually validates you and is willing to change a small part of their diet so the two of you can kiss on your wedding day? I know most of you would be very irate if I told you, that you could not kiss your husband on your wedding day and could never ever kiss him again.
I see it as a luxury to be validated because its so rare in my life. I see it as a luxury to be able to have someone willing to give up one food item so that I may live. I see it as a luxury to have someone who is willing to actually EAT where you can eat without getting sick. Most people takes these things for granted. I envy you. Envy is not a positive trait, surely, but to be so denied is living hell when the peanut gallery refuses to even give you a microscopic measurement of hope, let alone eat where you can eat. What I find so amusing is that its the Bipolar community that is the most supportive and understanding amongst those NOT having Allergies. They are the rejected ones in society. No one wants to be their friend. Its why they understand. Have the wrong allergy? Meet discrimination! Have Mental Illness? Meet discrimination!
Does the church teach that we need to validate others? Sure, it does and it falls on deaf ears. It applies to only their relationships with their closest friends, but not to the people they are refusing to validate. Unfortunately, this refusal to validate someone else, can lead to death of that person due to a refusal to listen and understand what it means to eat something one can't eat. Celiac Disease isn't going to go away. Celiac disease does not mean you can eat gluten once in while. Celiac is a crippling, disabling illness if not treated with care. Celiac means you can not cheat and eat gluten ever! Celiac all too often means a life time of verbal abuse.
UPDATE: I can only add two things:
1) Celiac disease not treated properly, is a painful SLOW death.
2) Allergies not taken seriously can be a quick painful death. This death is especially painful when you are watching those you love kill and murder you with their purposeful ignorance. I'm not talking about mistakes and accidents! I'm talking about those who did it on purpose with the intent to 'prove' you are not allergic and you won't die! Its pure living hell! I would also argue that it is PRE-MEDITATED MURDER!
I shall be cross-posting this and many other articles on this site at my other site, and hopefully, will find all the errors that need to be changed. :D
ReplyDeleteAlso, it is 1 in 200 people who have undiagnosed Celiac Disease, and NOT 1 in 30. I misread an article. Sorry!