Why do 14 year olds rape? They rape because they were raped! Who raped them? People who themselves were raped. This is a generational curse that exists in this world because we have refused to say "no". We have refused to talk about it. We insist that it didn't happen and that there is nothing to talk about. We insist that we live in shame and pretend it did not exist and never did exist and can't ever exist. We also insist that naturalist camps are natural. They aren't. I know someone who was raped by one. The raper was kicked out of the camp. I know 3 people who for sure got a turn on from seeing kids at the camp in the natural state of attire. Who needs illegal sources when you get a legal source? Less viral too! :P Very against it = all of it! And this is coming from someone who used to be forced to attend such crap places. By the way, if you were to go to anyone's house who attended such camps, you would find lots of porn. They are ALL addicted (not the kids, the adults!) The only exception is the spouse who has no backbone and was afraid to say 'no'. That spouse is not necessarily addicted.
I know someone who was molested and forced to perform leud acts at the tender age of 6 by an 8 year old. This 8 year old was raped and molested, but I never did figure out by who. This 8 yr old also molested his younger siblings. I am led to believe (but may be wrong on this!) that his mother was also molested and ganged raped by someone(s) within the family. Something she said hinted at this, but I can't exactly remember what it was. The porno was very easily found in the house and obtainable. Any kid could get their hands on it without much to do.
So, what is my point? It takes 1 person to start the ball rolling. It only takes one person to knock over the first domino to get the other dominoes knocked over. Well, does this mean that who ever violated the 8 yr. old is too blame? I'd say that someone violated the violator. To use an example in my own family, I figured out why my father was the way he was. His dad was to blame in part. However, I believe that my great grandfather was even more to blame. This may even go back to great great grandfather. This great great grandfather may have started it. No one is really talking, but a conversation I had with my own dad confirmed what I had surmised. He refused to talk about it. My dad did not violate his kids. However, I do know for a fact that he was violated. I know for a fact that he has an addiction. I know for a fact that most of his siblings would rather not have him around, but are learning to be okay with him being around. The past is being dealt with, slowly but surely. Time is healing. However, time doesn't heal addictions.
Unless we deal with why we are addicted and why we do what we do, nothing is really going to change. Pretending its natural doesn't lead people to stop molesting. Pretending that it is "how nature intended things to be" doesn't stop people from wanting to go further than legal. Legalizing it doesn't make people no longer want it. This type of addiction is like a drug. Once you've had it, its hard to get rid of it. I know. I used to be addicted in a very specific way which stemmed from being molested at a very young age (by someone who shall rename nameless due to legal reasons and the following... The molester no longer has this issue and has changed their life around permanently and for the better. :D 1 Billion kudos to this person for having the courage to change!
What did I do to help myself? Well, if I were a MAN, I could have gotten the help I needed from outward sources. These groups do not exist for women where I live. I had to self-counsel as no one understood, and no one believed me because I was lacking the body part that is needed in order to have an addiction! Hey Believers! HELLO! I WAS OUT HERE AND WHERE WERE YOU? HIDING!
Reading the Bible does help. But, if you pray the Bible INTO you, you will be surprised as to what it can do for you! Nevertheless, I still recommend a Christian counselor who is skilled in dealing with Sex addictions. I also highly recommend a good SA group. These do NOT exist for Women in MOST states. I think only 3 groups exist in the entire USA. I'd lead one if I didn't have other issues that physically prevents me from leading such a group.
Get a mentor! Better yet, get 7 mentors, one for each day of the week. Mentors can help you distract and get your mind on other things. Take up a hobby. If married, let your spouse take over the bed. I'm serious! The only exception here, is if the spouse is also addicted. Another thing you might do is delegate it to "having kids only" and learn to show "love" in other ways instead. However, you will still have to clean house. Get rid of the triggers. Unless you do this, no change will come easy. In my case, I had to get rid of the Past thoughts in my head that was bringing me down and leading me to self abuse. In my case, I had to treat it like a "Borderline Personality Disorder". Usually, BPD manifests itself in cutting disorders. Fortunately in me, this was not the case. Less lethal that way. I no longer have BPD. Journaling out the negative past and reframing it into something positive also helps. When journaling, I would dedicate a page to rethinking your day. Whenever a bad thought enters your mind, take out the journal and force opposite to emotion and write positives instead. Write about what warm fuzzy someone gave you that day. Write about what you would love to see yourself doing in 5 years. Write about your dream vacation, dream house, or dream game, and so on.
How do you show love? Isn't sex love? No! Sex is sex and love is love. We show love by doing for others. We show love by helping them with whatever it is they need help with. We show love by doing their chores for them (and yes, this does mean that the husband might need to finally learn where things really are put in the kitchen!) Sometimes we show love by NOT trying to put anything away in the kitchen. The wife can show love by taking pictures in that kitchen of where everything goes, and attaching the picture to doors, and putting them in drawers, perhaps.
We can also show love by simply doing things with our partner. When is the last time you two had a romantic dinner for two and really talked and listened to each other? When is the last time you instead of 'buying the flowers' went out and cut them yourselves from your own garden? When is the last time the two of you went camping? fishing? played cards? played any game? read together? Went bowling? Went to a reputable massage parlour? Went swimming? Worked out together? Played Tennis?
If you really want to know what can happen if you don't deal with the addiction and it gets worse, try to find a copy of "Out of the Shadows". Excellent book! It really hashes out the various stages of an addict.
No tags, as I didn't want this article to be THAT easily found.
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